A few days ago I shared, on facebook, these photos by Shadi Ghadirian. 

(I had first encountered them on the 'Coulor as Experience' page.)

The comment I posted in conjunction with the photos was,

I love these, but I'm not quite sure why... maybe because we all have moments (I think, yes?) where too much of our identity is wrapped up in what we do (for a living)... rather than how we feel, what we think, what we find beautiful, what moves us to tears, etc... maybe?

Then today I ran into this post by Adbusters...

I have been meaning to write something on the growing trend toward Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder that I have seen in our culture... But it seems as Adbusters has beat me to it, and done a much better job at being concise and pithy than I could have ever done!

I think these two postings; the photos, which (in my reading) point to a self image that is wrapped up in what we do (and also comments on the identities of women and work traditionally considered 'woman's work'); and the rise of narcissism, where one's identity is wrapped up in the image one creates; are related in that: both ways of creating identity and a sense of self neglect what I find to be the individuals most interesting and important aspects...

What I am most interested in is how you feel.

See, personally, I don't really care what you do, or don't do, to make money.

I'm not really all that interested in what you look like. Unless you want to discuss the ways that one's looks allow one access to privileges, or set one up for being targets of others bigotry, ignorance and violence. Or both. I am interested in those experiences, and how one has felt about them, how one has survived, or been wounded, or made meaning, or used one's difficult circumstances to practice compassion. However, generally looks don't really mean all that much to me.

I am most interested in what moves you.

When is the last time you felt emotion so deeply that you wept with pain,

or joy or pride or sadness?

Have you ever cried someone else's tears for them or with them?

Have you ever wept with pride, watching children (yours or otherwise) live their dreams?

As Santideva states in 'Guide to Bodhisattva's Way of Life'

"When Happiness is equally dear to others and to myself,

then what is so special about me that I strive after happiness for myself alone?

When fear and suffering are equally abhorrent to others and to myself,

then what is so special about me that I protect myself but not others?"

When we are worried about ourselves alone, we become narcissistic, when taken to the extreme this becomes a personality disorder.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder are as follows:

• Are self-centered and boastful
• Seek constant attention and admiration
• Consider themselves better than others
• Exaggerate their talents and achievements
• Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
• Are easily hurt but might not show it
• Might take advantage of others to achieve their goals

Other common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following:

• Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
• Belief that he or she is “special” and unique, and can only be understood by other special people
• Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
• Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others
• Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
• Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame, and humiliation
• Arrogant behavior and/or attitude

For a bit more on dealing with Narcissistic individuals, check this article...

If you think you might have some narcissistic tendencies send me an email (see my contact page) and we can set up some meditation and/or yoga sessions. I will guide you through some techniques that will help you to open your heart to others.

For many reasons, one being that I think it's important to make these techniques available to everyone, I work on a donation only basis. So please don't let financial concerns be a hinderance!